31 Lessons For 31
31 Truths I’ve Picked Up Along the Way
I just turned 31, and instead of a big birthday post about gifts or cake, I wanted to share something more meaningful: 31 lessons I’ve learned so far. Some are serious, some are silly, but all are things I hope might help you or at least make you nod along.
Nobody cares. Not to be rude, but… most people don’t really care. (Okay, maybe a few do.) Most are too wrapped up in their own lives to notice what you’re doing—which is kind of freeing. Sing karaoke. Dance like a lunatic. Post that TikTok. Chances are, they’ll forget all about it in a few days.
Save money, but spend money. Yes, saving and building an emergency fund is crucial. But if you’re so focused on pinching pennies that you never enjoy life, what’s the point? Budget, plan, and save, but don’t forget to treat yourself along the way.
Hold onto the good people. There aren’t many of them. So when you find them, keep them.
Forgive. Not for them, for you. Holding onto resentment is heavy.
Animals are better than most people. They don’t care what you look like, what you wear, how much money you make, etc. They just want to love you.
Grief doesn’t go away. You learn to live with it. Grief is like a shadow that follows you everywhere. Instead of letting it weigh you down, you have to learn to sit with it, acknowledge it, and carry on—letting it shape you without defining you.
You’ll lose friends along the way. And you’ll be better without them. (Refer to number 3 though.)
Fake it till you make it. Most of the time, I have no clue what I’m doing. But in the wise words of Ali Hazelwood, “Carry yourself with the confidence of a mediocre white man.” And honestly? Leaning into that mindset has carried me farther than I ever expected.
As long as you like you, it doesn’t matter if they like you. Another very freeing reality.
People will remember how you made them feel. They might forget your exact words. They might not recall what you were wearing, or even how you looked in that moment. But they’ll remember if you made them feel seen, safe, or lighter than before.
Sometime it takes 3 seconds to make someone’s day. A quick “I appreciate you,” or “I love your outfit” can go farther than you think. A genuine compliment costs nothing, but it can leave someone smiling for hours.
Most things are out of your control. Sorry to break it to ya, but a five-year plan isn’t realistic. (And I say this as someone who loves a five-year plan.) Stuff happens—cars break down, pipes burst, and people die. I love planning, but you also need to learn to roll with the punches.
Take care of your body and mind. Life only gets harder from here. Exercise, keep learning, and invest in yourself—your future self will thank you.
Therapy is wonderful. Don’t believe me? You should probably try it.
Spend your time wisely. There isn’t a lot of it. Don’t waste it on things you don’t enjoy, bad books, or vegetables you hate.
Volunteer. People think it’s selfless, but honestly, it’s selfish in the best way. It nourishes your soul, reminds you life is bigger than yourself, and brings real joy.
Stand up for the things you believe in. You will never regret this.
You’re not going to vibe with everyone. Just like you don’t like everyone, not everyone will like you. There’s nothing you can do about it, and that’s fine. You’re not everyone’s cup of tea.
It’s OK to rest. Rest isn’t a luxury—it’s essential. Your body and mind need downtime to recover, process, and grow.
Don’t let fear decide your life. You’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did.
Show up early to things. Out of respect for others. (Refer to 15.)
Family comes first. These are the people showing up to your funeral. They matter.
Blood doesn’t equal family. Some of the meanest, cruelest things I’ve experienced came from people who share my DNA. Just because someone’s related doesn’t mean you can’t cut them off. You should.
Travel. Even if it’s just a weekend trip. Seeing the world changes your perspective.
You’re so much more than your job. Your title doesn’t define your worth. I am a wife, daughter, aunt, foster mom, volunteer, writer, reader… so much more than “Content Marketing Manager.” Those things matter more than a line on a resume.
Get a dog. The best advice I could ever give you.
You’re never too late. No matter your age, stage, or what you’ve—or haven’t—done yet, it’s never too late to start. Want to pick up a new hobby, change careers, or learn a language? Go for it.
Remember people’s birthdays, anniversaries, etc. I got this advice from Mel Robbins: when someone tells you a little tidbit you need to remember later—their child’s birthday, their favorite candy, that they’re up for a promotion—take out your phone and jot it down in your notes app.
Buy cards in bulk. When you’re at the store, pick up greeting cards just to have on hand. There’s a lost art in sending a card in the mail versus a text, and it truly makes people feel seen.
Flowers bloom at different times. Flowers are beautiful, but they don’t all bloom at once. If a rose spent its time watching a sunflower bloom, it might never notice its own beauty. Stop comparing—your timing and growth are yours alone.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. You can’t be there for everyone else if you’re running on empty. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. Sleep, exercise, eat well, set boundaries, and make time for the things that recharge you. When your cup is full, you can give freely without burning out.